Monkey Business
by Pneumatic
Summary: Larry and Piper are stuck in a rut and Piper is feeling restless, that is until a visit to the zoo and an encounter with a very charming zoo keeper. Vauseman all the way!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

 **Just a little thing that came to me whilst I was eating my granola yesterday. Hope you guys love it. Let me know if you would like me to continue.** **J**

The morning was sunny and bright and Larry was in a good mood, an insufferably good mood, the sort of mood that made Piper suspicious.

"Come on Pipes, the zoo is going to be fun, it was where we had our first official date and they've added a monkey enclosure too"

"Coffee..I need coffee" she mumbled, rubbing her temples with her fingertips.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have chugged down that whole bottle of vintage Veuve Cliquot last night then?" Larry replied, failing to show the blonde any real sympathy.

Piper scowled. "You should have stopped me"

"When you're in _that_ state, there really is no stopping you Pipes, now hurry up and get dressed, we've got us some primates to see!"

Piper groaned and padded to her dresser. She pulled out some Abercrombie jeans and a baby pink Ralph Lauren (vintage) sweater. She teamed it with some simple, but elegant, chestnut brown, leather flats (hand stitched in Cambodia) and a paisley Hermes, silk scarf. She popped in some Tiffany pearl earrings and declared herself good to go. She snatched up her Coach, tan leather, across the body bag and followed her boyfriend out of the front door.

The blonde slept for most of the car journey to the zoo, still feeling worse for wear and Larry simply left her to it, distracted by his _own_ plans for the day. Once he had parked up he gently nudged Piper awake. It took several minutes for the blonde to stir and even then she was reluctant to leave the warm confines of the Mercedes SLK. "Mmmmm...need more sleep ...catch you up..." she muttered.

"Come on Pipes, i've got a special day planned" Larry reasoned, so reluctantly, Piper agreed and exited the vehicle.

Larry was beaming all the way to the entrance gate and once at the ticket office, he revealed the first part of the surprise. "I've arranged for a private tour around the monkey enclosure with one of the zoo keepers, isn't that awesome?"

"Um, I guess?" Piper replied, still failing to share the same enthusiasm as her boyfriend, wistfully thinking about a caffeine hit.

"Well thanks for the enthusiasm for the effort i've made" Larry sulked. "I just thought it would be a special surprise, clearly I was wrong".

The blonde sighed, she knew Larry meant well, but the last few months with him were beginning to feel like more of a chore than anything. What she really needed was some excitement and she doubted a VIP pass to the zoo was going to provide her with that.

They were handed their special access passes and told to wait at the information point for the arrival of their guide. "You want coffee?" Larry offered, trying to appease the blonde woman.

"Ugh, I doubt the stuff here is gonna be fair trade organic"

"I think I saw a Starbucks over by the gift shop?"

"You know I only drink artisan" Piper snapped.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger" Larry replied.

Piper sighed. "Sorry, I don't mean to take this out on you, just hungover and feel queasy"

Larry nodded. "Well hopefully the monkey's will cheer you up...oh looks like our guide is here"

Piper looked up, blue pools, locking with vivid green. Their guide was not what she was expecting. She was tall, had luscious dark hair, black secretary glasses and curves that Piper couldn't seem to peel her eyes away from, including a pair of very ample assets. It was few seconds before the blonde realised her mouth was agape and Larry was asking her if she was ok.

"Yea..of course" she mumbled, ignoring the warmth that she could feel down below.

"Hey" the woman said with a smirk, "I'm Alex, your guide for the day...this your sister?" she said to Larry.

"Oh..gosh no...Piper here is my girlfriend"

"Really?!" Alex said, a well sculpted eyebrow quirking up, failing to hid her surprise.

"Yes really" Larry replied, more than a little put out at her assumption.

"Hey sorry, didn't mean to offend you pal" Alex said clapping him on the arm, "it's just that the way she was looking at you was sisterly rather than anything else"

"Pipes?" Larry said, desperate for the blonde girl to confirm the brunette was wrong.

"Um...yea..he's not my sister...I mean..i'm not his sister..." she replied, suddenly aware her cheeks were flushed.

Alex laughed "I dunno kid, you don't seem sure about it..."

"Maybe we should just get on with the tour, that _is_ what I paid for after all" Larry interrupted abruptly.

The Monkey's were amusing, even more so when one of them looked as though he was about to hurl some faeces at Larry, who just about managed to duck in time. Although he clearly didn't appreciate both women giggling at him. But Piper was enjoying Alex's company. She found out she had been working at the Zoo for five years. She had wanted to be a vet, but because she couldn't afford to fund herself through school, she couldn't fulfil her dream and so had to take the job at the zoo. A single, mute tear escaped Piper's eye as Alex told her of the trials and tribulations of growing up in only a one vehicle household. "You know" she said, her voice cracking, "I didn't even get to try fillet steak until recently, I just feel like i've missed out on so much".

Piper squeezed the brunette's arm. "I'm so sorry to hear that Alex, but look at it this way, you've landed yourself a great job now and i'll bet you get to meet some really interesting people?"

" _Very_ interesting" Alex replied, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"Um, Pipes, can I have a word?" Larry interrupted, much to Piper's chagrin.

"What?" she hissed, not even bothering to look at him and staring across and the pretzel stand over his shoulder. When she looked back towards him, her eyes widened in disbelief as Larry had dropped down to one knee and was proffering a small ring box.

"Piper Chapman, will you marry me?"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**

 **Thanks for the support so far. Hope you like this next one.**

The look on Piper's face was incredulous.

"Larry...I...I..."

Her boyfriend's face literally crumpled. "Is this...is this a no Pipes?" He said, a lone tear, beginning it's descent down his pale cheek. He looked away, unable to stand looking at the blonde any longer.

"Come on pal, on your feet" Alex said, helping him up from bended knee.

"I don't need your help" Larry replied sulkily as he shrugged her off. He scrambled up to his feet and dusted himself down. "Don't suppose I'll be needing this then" he said, snapping the ring box shut.

"Larry, please don't be like this, we need to talk about it"

"Talk?" Larry guffawed. "You can talk with HER" he said pointing to Alex, "I'm going home, get your own ride back" and with that he stomped off.

"Do you think I should tell him he's going in the opposite direction of the exit?" Alex said smirking.

Piper tried to smile, but her heart felt heavy. Soon, a single fat tear drop adorned her cheek.

"Hey, stop that now" Alex said, gently wiping the blonde's tears away.

"There's a flower in the rain

Petals shimmering with tears

Hide your petals no more

Allow love to bloom"

"That's beautiful" Piper said, her tear immediately pausing. "Who wrote that?"

"Me" Alex smirked. "Zoo keeper by day, poet by night, I sometimes go for readings at Java Joe's, you should come and check it out some time"

Suddenly the blonde's day was looking up.

"When do you go there?"

"Mainly Saturday's, one of my friends owns the place, it's normally good fun, don't get too many hecklers. Up for it?"

"I mean...well.." She needed to sort things with Larry out, she knew that, but what harm was there in going to meet a new friend at the weekend? She wasn't doing anything wrong. Besides, the way Larry has stomped off like a spoilt child didn't leave him blameless in the scenario, after all, the proposal had come as a shock.

"So?" The brunette enquired. "Are you gonna stick or twist?"

"Twist" Piper replied with a grin, definitely "twist"

0-0-0-0-0-

Piper took a cab home and arrived to find Larry still sulking and nursing a bottle of bud light in front of a football game.

"You're watching football?" Piper enquired, a little puzzled.

"Top marks for observation Pipes" he replied, not bothering to hide his snippy tone.

"But you don't even like football, infact, you once described it as the root of all socio economic problems in modern day America"

"Oh so you do listen to me occasionally?" He continued, his tone failing to soften.

Piper took a seat next to the on the antique couch she'd had imported from France. "Please don't be like this Larry, it's just that the whole proposal came as a shock to me"

"A shock? We've been together four years Piper, was it really that much of a stretch to think I may want to propose to you?"

Piper sighed deeply. She wasn't sure what she thought any more. Larry was sweet and kind and reliable and she could do a lot worse. But there was something about Alex she just couldn't shake from her mind and if she was being really honest, it was all she'd been thinking about on the cab ride home. But the hang dog look on Larry's face made her feel guilty. "I didn't want my reaction to upset you Larry. Maybe we should talk over dinner tonight"

"Great!" Larry said, leaping up and ignoring the tone of her voice, "I'll book than gorgeous little hole in the wall, family run Spanish place we like. It's a date."

Piper couldn't help but feel it was anything but.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"Yo stretch, what up!" Nicky boomed from behind the counter at the coffee shop.

Alex bumped fists with her. "Nothing much, ya know"

"Don't fuck about Vause, I can tell somethings up now spill."

"Well I met this girl" Alex began

"Should've known there would be some hot piece of ass at the centre of it. What's wrong, another married one?"

"No..." Alex explained what had happened that day.

"Well you know what you gotta do, get her to dump the chump"

"Easier said than done"

"Come on Vause, you know the drill, woo her, impress her, treat her like a princess."

Alex thought about it for a few minutes, Nichols was right, she'd need to make Saturday special, she just needed to think how.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Dinner had been a tricky affair. Piper had picked at her steak tartare and made polite conversation with Larry.

"You not enjoying that?" he said, pointing at her plate.

Piper shrugged.

"Is this because they couldn't tell you if the beef had been farmed from within a five mile radius?" Larry continued.

"What…no! Of course not! Look, can we just get the check, I'm getting a headache, I think I just need to go to bed, sleep it off"

"Fine" Larry sighed. "Waitress" he called, not paying attention to the figure that arrived at the table. He glanced over at Piper whose mouth was slightly agape.

"Alex!" she said, failing to hide the shock in her voice. "I thought you worked at the zoo?"

"Yea I do…but um…my ma's not well, she's got medical bills and stuff so I have to work two jobs"

"Two jobs?!" Piper repeated, incredulous.

"Well yea, hopefully it won't be forever"

"I'm sorry, it's just that I've never known anyone that had to work two jobs before. I'm really sorry to hear about your mother".

Larry rolled his eyes. "I thought you wanted to go Piper? _You_ told me to get the check"

"I'll get this Larry, I've just remembered, I said I would look in on Polly while Pete's away, I'll see you back at home".

"Fine" Larry grumbled, not even bothering to argue.

"Nice to see you around again Barry" Alex grinned.

"It's _Larry_ actually"

Alex winked, watching him depart.

"What time does your shift finish?" Piper asked, her boyfriend the last thing on her mind.

"Um, an hour or so, why?"

"In that case, I'd like to order something for an hour's time"

"Oh really"

"Yea…a drink with you"

Alex laughed. "Well that can be arrange, just let me finish up and I'll meet you out front?"

Piper nodded, her heart drumming hard in her chest. The possibilities for the evening suddenly seemed endless and she couldn't wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**

 **Thanks so much for the faves follows and comments. Let me know what you guys want to see next, would be great to get your input. Xoxox**

Piper had spent the rest of Alex's shift watching the brunette glide effortlessly from table to table, unable to take her eyes away from her for one second. Every now and again, Alex would look across at her and throw her a wink and this caused millions of little butterflies to be set free in Piper's stomach. She was very conscious of the fact that Larry had never made her feel like this, not even once. And Piper knew deep down this was worrying and that she would need to lay her cards on the table with her boyfriend. A single tear made its way down her cheek at the thought, she really didn't want to hurt him, but life was about tough decisions sometimes.

Fifteen minutes before the end of Alex's shift, the blonde decided to go and freshen herself up in the bathroom. She took out her Chanel blusher, to give the apples of her cheeks an extra glow and reapplied her YSL lip gloss, before finishing with a spritz of Chloe perfume. "That should do nicely" she said, looking at herself in the mirror. "Well i'll say" a voice interrupted. She looked up to see Alex looking at her with that signature smirk.

"I didn't s..see you there" the blonde stammered, feeling herself flush.

"Evidently" the brunette replied, taking a few steps towards her. "But it's kinda cute". She gently pressed Piper against the wash basins.

"W..what you gonna do?" The blonde said, both excited and fearful at the same time.

"I dunno kid, what would you like me to do?"

The pair quickly sprang apart with the arrival of Alex's co-worker Taystee. "Girl, them tables aint gonna bus themselves and by ma reckonin, you still got five minutes left of your shift, so I suggest you get to it. I aint gonna be cleanin up no mess that your white skinny ass shoulda sorted".

Alex rolled her eyes, "Rain check?" she said to Piper.

"Definitely" the blonde grinned.

"And what you doin up in here with Miss Congeniality"

"My name's Piper" the blonde said, trying not to let the comment sting her.

"Mmmmhmmmm, well whatever it is, stretch here needs to get back to work for now, y'all can do what you like on your _own_ time"

"Alright alright" Alex replied. "I'll meet you out front in five, ok?" Piper nodded.

0-0-0-0

The night had a biting wind to it, but this didn't bother Piper as much as it usually would, because the excitement of waiting for Alex overrode this. She kept telling herself she wasn't doing anything wrong, that Alex was just a friend, but the way she had felt in the bathroom when she had felt her up close, well, there was nothing _friendly_ about that. She was snapped out of her thoughts by the arrival of the raven haired woman.

"Ready?" she asked.

Piper nodded.

They made their way to an all night diner that was open. Alex bought them coffee and insisted on paying. Piper didn't have the heart to ask her where the beans had been sourced from, so she pushed the mug to one side and focused on the brunette instead. "You come here often"

"This is my spot, I only bring special people here"

Piper giggled. " So I guess that makes me..."

"Very happy to be here?"

"Special" Piper said, reaching across to playfully slap Alex's hand but knocking over the mug of piping hot coffee all over her companion instead.

Alex leapt up in pain "What the fu...jesus ow, that hurts"

"I'm so sorry" Piper said, grabbing a handful of napkins and dabbing the coffee from Alex's clothes.

"There were my vintage Levi's, i'm pretty sure they're ruined now" Alex said grimacing.

Piper shook her head "bit of bicarb and it will soon get that out"

"And what about my wounds?" Alex said pouting playfully, "You gonna tend to those?"

"Maybe" Piper grinned.

"So what are we waiting for..."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**

 **Thank you so much for your support. Let me know if you want me to continue this or not. xoxoxox**

Alex's apartment was not as the blonde expected. Given that she worked two jobs to scrape by, she had anticipated arriving somewhere run down and tired looking, but the quaint little apartment surprised her. It was compact, but cute. The first thing Piper was drawn to on entering the living room, was the large bookcase at the far corner of the room. She immediately strode over to it, long fingers lingering over the spines until they land on "1984". "Oh my god, I love Orwell!" she said almost squealing.

Alex smiled, "Me too, that book is one of my favourites. I mean I love Winston so much, he's thoughtful, but like also kinda fatalistic and his hatred for the party is something else. Like so passionate, to the point he's willing to commit crimes and has an illegal affair with that chick, to getting himself involved with the anti-Party Brotherhood. But ultimately, he's played straight into the hands of that douche O'Brien and so actually ends up, exactly where he didn't want to be; at the mercy of big brother".

The passion with which the brunette spoke about the book stirred something within Piper, something warm and pleasant, but she tried to push it to the back of her mind, reminding herself she had a boyfriend, one that enjoyed nights in with a movie and pizza, one whose sock drawer was organised by colour, one that still insisted having a crease ironed into your jeans was acceptable. She could feel a sigh bubbling up in her throat, but she pushed it back down.

"You wanna a drink?" Alex asked, walking to the tiny kitchenette.

"Sure" Piper replied, "What you got on offer"

"Well drinkwise Bud light, Smirnoff, probably some Jack Daniels, _otherwise,_ depends what you're up for"

Piper could feel the beginnings of that warm feeling again, so she crossed her legs, waiting for it to pass and opted for a bud light instead. Alex pulled out a packet of Marlborough red from her pocket. "Mind if I smoke?" she asked the blonde.

Piper shook her head as she watched the raven haired woman crack open a window and light a cigarette. Piper couldn't help but think how James Deanesque Alex looked, but her thoughts began veering on inappropriate again, so she refocused her mind on Larry's wiry hair and large chin instead. It did the trick within a few seconds.

Alex told her about her childhood, the tough times, the love, the laughter and the tears and Piper almost felt as if she had lived each emotion with her by the end of it, a rollercoaster of agony and ecstasy.

"You're amazing, you know that" she whispered to Alex, feeling as if she should go, because the apartment was a little cold. She guessed it was because the brunette couldn't afford the heating bill, but she didn't want to make her feel bad, so she wrapped her hand knitted Prada scarf around herself tightly and tried to ignore the onset of chattering teeth.

"Hey, you're cold" Alex said, leaning into the woman. Piper knew what was going to happen and a huge part, like from her head to her thighs, really wanted it to, but she couldn't betray Larry, after all, the curly haired man was her boyfriend.

"I've got to go" she said, hurriedly grabbing her back of organic tomatoes and zucchini she had purchased earlier from the farmer's market. She didn't wait for a reply as she disappeared out the door, leaving a very confused Alex sitting on the couch. Alone.

0-0-0-0-0

"Yo Vause, we don't need you up in here with a face like someone told you Taylor Swift don't exist" Taystee said.

Alex sighed, Piper and her sudden disappearance had been playing on her mind all day and it was distracting her at the restaurant.

"These empanadas need to get eat and table four is hollerin over here, so you best get your tall ass over there"

Alex sighed louder this time, not realising the plate was right in front of her.

"Girl, that's gross, these people aint gonna wanna eat food that's been contaminated by your melancholy ass"

"Sorry" Alex mumbled.

"Is this about Miss Congeniality?" Taystee continued.

Alex shrugged.

"You're makin more work acting like some love sick fool, so just go and talk to her and i'll cover for you"

"Really?" Alex said suddenly perking up.

"I said so didn't I? Now go, before I change my mind and go all ghetto on your ass"

Alex didn't need to be told twice, she knew what she needed to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I am overwhelmed at this support guys, thank you so much. Please let me know if you want more and don't forget, for me Vauseman is always ENDGAME. X0X0X0X0**

 **Alex to Pipes:** Can I come over, I think we need to talk

 **Pipes to Alex:** Larry is here, not a good idea.

 **Alex to Pipes:** Can you sneak out for a bit, over to mine? I really do think we should speak.

Alex's heart was in her mouth, Piper hadn't replied for a few minutes and she wondered if the silence was an answer in itself. The truth was she had never felt like this about anyone before, and had never wanted to spend more than one night, never mind the following morning with anyone. To Alex Vause, women were like cheap razors: easily broken and disposable. Until that is, she had met Piper Chapman. Now everything she thought she new about women had been thrown out of the window, because what she felt for the blonde was like nothing else. It felt like Christmas morning and all her birthdays rolled into one, but she couldn't explain why, only that it was a special feeling. Finally a whatsapp alert appeared on her phone from the less tall woman.

 **Pipes to Alex:** Ok, I'll see you at yours in twenty minutes.

0-0-0-0-0

Alex had tidied the apartment and lit some joss sticks and candles to make the place cosier. She placed a lilac throw on the floor and adorned it with some Potpourri (she had wanted to get rose petals, but when she found out the cost of them and that it would be a huge chunk of her pay check for the week, she promptly vetoed that idea). Taystee had managed to smuggle her out a bottle of the house white for her, "this stuff tastes like toilet water if y'all ask me, but you owe me big style girl" she had chimed, when handing over the "borrowed" booty to Alex.

Alex's stomach felt like it was competing in the gymnastics at the Olympic games with the number of somersaults it was doing. She tried to ignore it best she good and lit a Marlborough red to ease the tension. She suddenly noticed her stomach rumbling so quickly chomped down a Baby Ruth and washed it down with some Ocean Spray cranberry juice. Feeling slightly replenished, she hunted around her place to see what she could rustle up as a romantic meal for Piper and cursed not asking Olivier, the head chef and her good friend, to prepare something for her as a favor. It was too late now though.

She opened one cupboard, it contained some gram crackers, some chocolate spread and a jar of pickles. Alex was no cook, but she was pretty certain nothing edible could be made out of that. She opened the next and noticed a couple of cans of mac n cheese and she suddenly had an idea. She scooped the contents of both cans out into an oven dish, sprinkled some smoked paprika over the top, some slightly stale breadcrumbs and some Monterey Jack cheese on top of that and placed it in the oven on 350 for 40-45 minutes. She grinned, pleased with her efforts.

She opened the salad drawer of her small fridge and pulled out some lettuce. Since she had been earning her own money, it had been nice to buy little luxuries like iceberg lettuce. Growing up, the fridge had never seemed to contain such treats. She quickly remembered her sickly mother and suddenly felt guilty about basking in the glory of her fresh produce. She hurriedly shoved it back into the fridge and slammed the door shut, the bottles of Heineken rattling in the fridge door as she did so.

A few minutes later the door buzzed. With her heart beating a strange sort of rhythm, she strode across the room and let the blonde in. One entering the room the blonde spotted the throw and the adornments and smiled, although she quickly began to cough and splutter as she got a lungful of the joss sticks.

"You ok?" Alex asked, handing Piper a glass of Evian. Piper nodded.

"Just never got on well with incense, even at college the smell used to make me barf"

"Oh, I'm so sorry" Alex replied "I was just trying to make this special". A single tear threatened to trickle out of her eye, but she managed to hold it back.

"Don't be" the blonde said, clasping Alex's hand with her own.

The contact make sparks shoot through Alex and it was all she could do to stop herself ravishing the blonde there and then atop the potpourri.

"Piper, I wanted to know why you left like that the other day. I'm gonna be real with you, I really like you, I want to do this, like more than anything I've ever wanted before, like more than getting VIP tickets at a Guns N Roses concert. But I need to know you want the same thing, otherwise we can't carry on like this." She paused, allowing the blonde to have her say and Piper didn't hesitate.

"Since I met you at the zoo that day, I can't think about anything else. In the monkey enclosure, I knew this was something special…but…"

Alex could sense the but, but it didn't make it any harder when she actually heard the words leaving Piper's lips.

"Larry" Alex said.

The blonde nodded. "I've been with him so long and I don't want to hurt him"

Alex on the other hand could think of nothing more than how _she_ would like to hurt him.

"So what do you want to do then?" she asked the blonde, her eyes threatening to spill over with one single tear after another. Yes she had fucked a woman last night, tried to forget about Piper and later pretend she _was_ Piper, which the woman had got cross at, informing Alex several times that her name was actually Zoe. But really, she could not see beyond _this_ blonde and it was breaking her heart into tiny, small little pieces.

"I'm sorry Alex, but I don't think I can see you again" Piper said, snatching up her Chanel vintage beret. "Take care".

Alex watched the blonde leave and stared down at the scattered potpourri; pieces of her heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**

 **The support for this story has been overwhelming, thank you so much.**

…

 **To Pipes: please pick up, we need to talk**

 **To Alex: I just need some space**

The brunette sighed as she sat on a bar stool at her favorite bar, ironically called "The Bar". There was nothing more she could do. She had tried everything she could, to try and clear the air with the blonde. Whatsapp, trying to skype, snapchat, even sending her a musical card that played the theme to Disney's "Frozen", but Piper's heart had failed to thaw. Alex sat pondering her predicament when Nichols walked in.

"What up fuck features"

Alex wasn't in the mood for witty repartee today, so instead she merely shrugged in response.

"Jeez turd breath, something's really got you down huh?"

Nicky ordered them a shot of tequila each.

"Get this down you Vause, the burn of that in your chest and some hot wet pussy on your arm and all of this will be a dim and distant memory"

"I can't, gotta be on shift in a couple of hours, can't turn up tanked for that, Bruno will have my spleen on a plate"

Nichols laughed, "It'll probably taste better than the over priced food he sells. I mean if I wanted my portion sizes reduced, I'd go on a frikkin diet and I don't expect to pay 35 bucks a plate for the privilege"

"It's fine dining" Alex said rolling her eyes.

"It's daylight fucking robbery, except Bruno's more dickhead turnip than Dick Turpin"

Alex chuckled, "such a beautiful way with words"

"My ma always said I had a gift" Nichols said, draining the shots one after the other. "So you gonna spill?"

"Fine" Alex sighed, "It's Piper"

"The blonde chick from the zoo?"

Alex nodded.

"Didn't you say she had a boyfriend"

"Ugh, don't remind me, he's the reason she bolted the other day"

"She loves him?"

Alex shook her head "misguided sense of loyalty"

"Well, I _may_ not be so good with right kinda words, but _you_ are"

"What..no" Alex said, her eyes dropping to the bar top.

"Quit being coy Vasue, don't think I've not seen that journal you write all the mushy crap in"

"Mushy crap?"

"Yea, about the beauty of fall and all that bullshit, you gotta woo her….with your words.."

Alex paused for a second, pondering the advice of her friend. It was such a simple idea, it _might_ just work.

…

Sunset and sunrise

All I can think of is your eyes

How your smile can brighten my day

The words I need to make you stay

Your laugh is a charm

Your looks truly disarm

And like the first dew of spring

You're the most special thing

Don't be a stranger –A

She pushed the handwritten card through Piper's door, hoping it would be enough. It had to be.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN**

 **Sorry for the long delay, so much school work! Anyway hope you like this, please let me know. Thanks for your support as ever.**

Piper read the card for the tenth time in as many minutes, allowing the words to flow over her like warm water. Every word set off an explosion in her chest and she couldn't remember feeling so happy, that was until Larry walked in.

"Is this another gray hair Pipes?" the curly topped man asked, tugging at the top of his head.

"It's hard to tell" Piper mumbled, barely looking up at him, "the rest of it is just so…..dense"

"What you got there?" he asked, noting that his girlfriend was clutching something tightly in her hand. Piper hurriedly shoved it into the pocket of her Sass & Bide jeans, shuffling awkwardly in her Todd's loafers.

"Pipes are you hiding something from me?"

"Only how great you look in that shirt" Piper said staring unconvincingly at Larry's Old Navy t-shirt, that presently had a ketchup stain on it.

"Hmmm…." Just then Larry's cell started ringing, it was his mother and he disappeared off into the kitchen to speak to her. Piper breathed a huge sigh of relief, patting her pocket to reassure herself that the note from Alex was still there. She resolved to visit her at the restaurant later this evening. Sure she was supposed to be dining out with Larry's parents, but she could feign illness to get out of it, because right now, the burning desire in her chest was telling her that Alex Vause was the top of her priority list.

xoxoxoxoxoox

"What y'all moping about now?" Taystee said, running a wet rag around the table that Alex and Nichols were currently resting their elbows on.

"Me?" Nichols replied with that typical Nichols shit eating grin, "nothing, just wishing you were into Sapphic pleasures"

Taystee rolled her eyes "listen, dick is where I'm at, y'all go about your business, I'll go about mine"

"Don't knock it 'till you've tried it" Nichols winked, wriggling her fingers.

"You gonna sort out your girl, or do I have to bust her ass?" Taystee asked, nudging Alex.

"Quit being a jackass Nick" Alex said, barely looking up from the damp formica table top.

"You still moping over Parkslope?" Taystee said, squeezing into the booth next to Alex.

"No…well…I wrote her a note….she still hasn't replied…"

"A note? You white folk are weird. If I wanted to win someone back, I wouldn't bother going all Shakespeare, actions and words and all that girl. Bitches need to know they be wanted"

"She's got a point Vause' Nichols said still smirking "those pillowy tits can only take you so far"

Alex sighed, she knew they had a point.

xoxoxoxoxooxo

Alex arrived at Piper's, picnic hamper in hand having begged the night off from her boss. She figured nothing could beat a moonlight picnic by the lake. However her plans seemed as though they were to be thwarted when she rang the bell of Piper's house, risking her dozy fiancé being in, and realized nobody was at home. She tried Piper's cell, but it went straight to voicemail. A voice in her head was failing to abate and was telling her that maybe this just wasn't meant to be (as well as the fact the mackerel pate was beginning to smell a bit questionable). She dumped the hamper in the trashcan outside Piper's house and trudged her way back to her empty apartment.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Piper arrived in good time at the restaurant, determined to let her feelings for Alex be known.

"She's got the night off" Suzanne, whom everyone named crazy eyes told her. "can I call you watermelon?" piper shook her head.

"Fruit is special and strange like me, momma used to say" Piper backed away towards the exit. Once she hit the street the true disappointment washed over her, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. She began the long walk home.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN**

 **I feel on a roll, I hope you peeps enjoy this. Please let me know what you think, I know it's probably not my best work, but I really love writing for these characters, they're almost like a part of me, so please let me know your thoughts. Shout out to Gertie, you mean the world to me.**

 **Enjoy xoxoxoxo**

Piper sat in the park, in the dark, none of this felt like a lark. She had been sure that she and Alex had meant to be together, but something get thwarting them along the way, Jewish men, work….the universe seemed determined to keep them apart. She sighed deeply, ignoring the increasing grumbling of her tummy, life was so hard.

xoxoxox

 _Flashback to when Piper was 12_

" _Piper honey, why are you crying" Piper's grandmother asked her._

" _Danny stole my candy bar" the little blonde girl said pouting_

" _Well what good is crying going to do?"_

" _Mother said it was the best use of manipulation there was going and crushed a man's resolve like a mere peanut" the young Chapman blinked, trying to ignore the fact her elderly relatives dentures looked as though they were coming a bit loose. Her mother had always taught her it was rude to stare._

 _The old lady cleared her throat, "I'll speak to you mother about her "motivational" talks with you later, but there's no point in crying, it will do nothing but make you feel bad, why don't you ask Danny if you can share it and that way you'll both be happy? Life is always about a little compromise"_

 _The young Chapman nodded thoughtfully, her grandmother had a point_

Xoxoxox

"Compromise" Piper mumbled to herself. She supposed that Alex had been doing most of that, especially considering that she herself was the one that had a fiancé and a whole other life. "I've got to sort this out" she said out loud.

"Oh yeah? What would that be?" A voice said dripping in liquid sex. It was the brunette beauty. She was clad in tight leather pants, a black studded tank and a leather jacket, it was all Piper could do to stop herself calling Larry and ending it there and then.

"Cat got your tongue?" Alex grinned in that typical Vause way.

"I could think of better places for my tongue to be" Piper grinned harder.

Alex threw her head back to laugh heartily, but did it with such gusto she almost went tumbling backwards into a young couple who were walking arm in arm. After offering a brief apology, she resumed her conversation with the blonde.

"So about this tongue" she said, sidling up to the blonde who was sat on a cold damp bench.

They pressed their foreheads together and for a moment, there could be no one else in the world but the two of them, all thoughts of Larry and the home made Mackerel Pate` were banished. It was just them, the moon and the stars, Alex was ignoring the hobo on the bench next to them for now. Soon their lips came crashing together, as tongues tangled, dancing to the tune of passion and joy "god this feels so different to Larry" Piper mumbled against Alex's lips.

"Less stubble?" the more aged woman joked

"No Larry doesn't believe in using the tongue, he says it's not the way of his people"

"Jews?"

"Failed writers " Piper giggled, immediately feeling a stab of guilt for the quip, however this passed quickly as Alex's hand grabbed a handful of her tit and began caressing it. Piper began purring lightly, something she had no idea she was capable of at this point.

"Take me now Al" Piper said trembling, sure that the wetness she could feel was no longer coming from the park bench.

Alex pulled away, laughing sexily and raspily and heartily. "Not sure it's wise Pipes" she said nodding towards two teenage boys who had stopped dead on their bikes and were ogling the two beauties.

Piper grabbed the buxom beauty's hand, "come on, my apartment isn't far from here". Alex was in no mood to refuse.

Xoxoxox

The love making was like a fourth of July fireworks display, each touch setting off an explosion in Piper's chest, each taking her to a new high. One thing was for certain, the raven haired seductress knew her way around the workings of a woman. If Alex was the Lamborghini of the bedroom, then Larry was definitely a used Ford. Solid, reliable, but ultimately boring.

"Ready for round two?" Alex said poking her head out of the Egyptian cotton sheets and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Someone care to explain what the fuck round one was?" a voice interrupted. It was Piper's boyfriend. Larry. Larry Bloom.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:**

 **Hope you're enjoying this, this is a light Fall read, think crispy autumnal leaves and wine that is mulling (perhaps vintage if you should so please).**

 **Thanks again for all the amazing support and reviews, it means more than you'll ever know.**

"Hey Larry," Alex grinned in that typical Alex Vause way

"You mind getting your fingers out of my girlfriend?!" the angry man said angrily.

Alex giggled, "Well I dunno about that, _she_ seems to be enjoying it"

"Al!" Piper hissed, wriggling up the bed and pulling the sheets with her to protect her modesty, although what from she wasn't sure, as both Alex and Larry had seen her lady parts.

"Pipes? How could you….we were in love…we…." He tailed off, head drooping

"Larry, I'm sorry" Piper said and she was, this whole thing had become a terrible mess. "But I never expected to fall in love with Alex…things just happened"

"In love?" Larry and Alex said in unison. It was then that Piper and Alex's eyes met over the new sheets from Bed, Bath and Beyond and really they _were_ going beyond, beyond feelings either of them had ever felt they could feel.

"I'm going to my parents" Larry said unable to look at his former girlfriend. He snatched a duffel bag from the top of the closet and began throwing clothes into it. "Leopard print?" Alex said, raising an eyebrow at a questionable pair of boxer shorts. Larry snatched them out of her grasp.

"Fuck you, they were a Valentines day present"

"Pipes?!" Alex said in disgust at the gaudy undergarments

"From his mother" Piper interjected.

"Ewww" came the raven haired beauty's response.

"Shut up, my mother and I have a special relationship like….like…"

"Norma and Norman Bates?" Alex chuckled. "Check the attic Pipes"

Piper flashed her a look as if to say please don't, Larry will get even angrier and really I just want him to leave so we can continue fucking and I can leave more scratches across your back. So Alex said no more.

"Don't try and call me" Larry said, ignoring the fact a rogue sock was sticking out of his bag. "Because I won't answer. You're not the woman I thought you were Piper. It was all a lie" and with that he left, his cape blowing in the draught from the open window.

"Fuck!" was all Piper could say in response. "Fuck me" was what she was saying seconds later.

Xoxoxoxoxox

The Bahamas were lovely, sunny and sandy and lovely. The two women had booked a last minute flight deciding that they needed a break and a few weeks of sand in their naughty bits seemed very appealing.

Alex couldn't keep her eyes off Piper's toned arms, toned legs, toned stomach and toned feet. "I can't believe how toned you are Pipes" she said to the younger, toned woman.

Piper giggled, "It's all that running babe"

"Running through my mind all day you mean" Alex winked

Piper giggled again, but unfortunately it turned into gas and she burped. "Shit sorry" she said blushing and burping again. "I knew I shouldn't have had that third Long Island iced tea"

Alex laughed, "my burpy, blonde beauty"

"Al that's horrid" Piper said throwing her an angry glance.

"No, that's alliteration babe" Alex winked.

Piper sat back in the lounger, she couldn't believe how lucky she was to be dating someone as clever as Alex. She seemed like Yoda in comparison to Larry. She closed her eyes, allowing the sun to warm her bones, but just then, her cell began vibrating. It was her younger brother Cal.

"It's my younger brother Cal" she said answering the phone to Cal. "Hey Cal."

She mouthed "it's Cal" to Alex as she spoke to Cal.

"It's Cal, Piper" Cal said

Alex was only half paying attention, she was inspecting the wine bottle that Piper had ordered, eyes scanning over the label. "Store in a cool dry place. Once open, consume within two days. Please drink alcohol responsibly". This was obviously the upmarket kind she thought.

"Al, something's happened" Piper said interrupting her deep thoughts. "That was Cal, it's Larry….he's gone missing…"


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: found my muse again thank you! Some song lyrics from Little Mix. This is the last chapter in my little tale. Please assume that Piper and Alex rushed back from Holiday when they found Larry was missing and this is where we begin the scene.**

 **X0x0x0x0**

It had all been a hoax. That was what Piper realized as she tracked Larry down to some wasteland behind a fair trade rug store. And now here he was, snarling at her like a snarling monster.

"Didn't bring that bitch with you?" Larry said still snarling

"Don't talk about her like that" Piper said, averting her eyes from the 50% labor day sale sign in the store window and back to Larry. He was holding a knife, a big knife. It glinted in his hand like something silver and glinty.

"I'll talk about her however I want, she stole you from me Pipes" he roared, spittle forming around his mouth.

It was then that Piper realized she had made the right choice. Alex Vause would never treat her like this, she wasn't a knife wielder, she was a love maker.

 _Guess I should say thank you_

 _For the hate yous and the tattoos_

 _Oh baby, I'm cool by the way_

 _Ain't sure I loved you anyway_

 _Go 'head, babe I'mma live my life, my life, yeah_

Larry took a step towards her, just as Piper realized the store sale also included _Persian_ rugs. His eyes were glimmering with hate, he couldn't wait? Was this fate? The knife gripped tighter in his hand.

"You're a little whore, my mother warned me about girls like you"

"When?" Piper asked confused, for only this morning Mrs. Bloom had text her with a Groupon offer for a spa day she wanted to take Piper on. It was upstate but the deal was truly too good to pass up.

"Just shut the fuck up you cheating bitch" he replied raising a hand to slap Piper, but as he did so, he stumbled and grabbed her tit by mistake. She squealed in horror.

"Get your bourgeois hands off her you piece of shit!" Alex said appearing from around the corner.

"Where the fuck did you appear from?" Larry said.

"I was parking the truck" Alex replied smirking and re-adjusting her leather jacket. In the kerfuffle, Larry had dropped the knife, but Alex was in no mood to reason, her girlfriend had been hurt and no one hurt Alex Vause's woman and got away with it. No one. Not a single person. Man or woman. She went up to Larry and punched him in the ear.

"Ow! What the fuck!" he yelled like a pig to slaughter, but Alex had seen the red mist now and she was angry too.

She punched him in the jaw, it made a sickening crack and fell off. He crashed to floor in agony but Alex continued raining blows until Piper pleaded with her to stop.

"Pipes, call the feds…this piece of shit needs to be locked up". The raven haired goddess bent down to tie the lace on her DM's, that had come undone with the mafia style beating she had inflicted on the frizzy haired man, before French kissing Piper long and hard.

When the police arrived, they thanked Alex for her bravery. And gave her a certificate. Piper looked on proud that she had such a strong and handsome girlfriend. Life was perfect.

 _Shout out to my ex, hey look at me now_

 _Well I, I'm all the way up_

 _I swear you'll never bring me down_


End file.
